I took a few photos of myself today. I realized that I have been lying to myself all this time. I thought I weren't really fat, that the overweight came from my muscles... But I was wrong. I really am fat. I am overweight. I am not pretty. I am fat and ugly because of the fatness. My face is not bad - that's a relief - but because I am so fat, it makes me look also ugly.
I feel ashamed and disappointed. Ashamed, because all this time I was able to act confidently because I thought I wasn't really fat. So I have been making a fool out of myself - fat, confident people make me always laugh. Who can possibly be truly confident about herself if she has a thick layer of gross fat over her? Eww... seriously. I wonder what people think of me. Probably the same way I think about fat people who think they're skinny and pretty.
But luckily, today I got awakened. Today, my super-power-weight losing starts! I want to be beautiful and thin! In a good shape. In this world nowadays, beautiful means thin. It is true and no one should ever deny it. Fat people just can't be pretty. Everyone knows it, even if some people deny it. That's only because they are fat and can't lose weight. They lie to themselves. Just like I did.
Fortunately, I was given another chance. What if I never realized my fatness? I'd just keep being the fat girl who thinks she's thin... Even thinking about that makes me blush and feel so, so embarrassed.
Even though I feel bad now, I shouldn't, because this is just the beginning. I am young, I have my whole life coming to me, I got accepted to the school I wanted to... And all the time, I am losing weight! You know, if I don't eat anything, I can't gain weight. It's just impossible. I just have to remain strong and that's something I am good at. And to boost up my weight losing, I have to exercise. That is also easy for me. Even though I am fat, I am kind of in good health and can jog for ages, for example.
This is the day when my new life begins. New life as a beautiful, thin, successful girl. Soon I can buy clothes I want to buy and use them without looking dreadful, and I can use half of my old clothes again. Many of them are now too small, but soon, they will fit me again.
I am so happy! I will be a whole new person!